Sunday, November 7, 2010

Saturday Centus - Danny Part 2

This is my second contribution to Saturday Centus this week, hosted by the lovely Jenny Matlock at Off on My Tangent. This started as a memorial to a very good friend, mixing some fact with some fiction. 100 words was not going to cut it, so this is part 2 of my story "Danny". The prompt is in bold blue font. Hopefully this story stands on it's own, but if not, read Part 1.

"... Storm of the Century. Let's look back at some images from that day..." Turning off the television, she didn't need pictures to remember. Waking to a wind so fierce it rocked the house. Ancient trees snapping like kindling in the early morning tempest. Looking out the kitchen window as Frankie's bike flew past, cartwheeling through the heavy air like a lunatic gymnast.

She warned Danny to stay home. Devil's Hollow was surely washed out. Even if it wasn't, no one could handle those hairpin turns in that storm.

For most, it was the 11th Anniversary of the storm. For her, it was the day Danny died.

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Sue said...

And now we know the rest of the story.

Sad, but rings true. The guy you described would have figured he could handle whatever the storm threw at him.


Tracy said...

Read both parts sad use of prompt Mine is where I hope to be in 11 years My divorce is imminent so I need to prepare to not look back

Confessions of a Plate Addict said...

Oh, Kat...I read both very sad! What is it about men and storms that makes them think they need to go out and that nothing can happen to them? I am sending a big hug....(((((Kat))))....Debbie

Viki said...

This was really well written. The second part could stand on it's own but I loved your description of Danny in the first part. Hopefully, the people left have memories that can sustain them when the other person is gone.

Tgoette said...

Lovely! Well done, Kat! Your writing is absolutely inspiring. What an emotive story. Truly great.

Anonymous said...

I seriously got goose bumps!!!

Good grief, when do we get more words?????? More story?????

LOL, love your creativity!

Tina said...

aww how tragic and so sad. lovely emotional story.

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

As always, Kat, your Centus story makes me wish I could read more!

The Quintessential Magpie said...

Kat, you are great with this! Loved this story SO much, and I love the image of bike flying past like a "lunatic gymnist." You go, girl! You are doing such a good job with these.


Sheila :-)

xinex said...

What a sad story, Kat but your graphical description is so good. My mom is so much better, almost back to normal. Discontinuing the medicine made so much difference....Christine

Calming Scents said...

I was trying to remember this....and finally it came to me! Looks like i need to rewatch this movie!

You know Kat, I have to stay organized...there is so much I want to do and my family is so large. I truly am hoping God will grant my hearts desire and provide me with a good part time job soon so i can exit full time.

Anonymous said...

Such a sad reality for so many. My community lost a young lady to floods this year. Blessings to you.


Judie said...

Sad reality is a good way to put it.

Anonymous said...

A touching story. I liked both the parts - each one complete on its own, yet melding into a seamless whole.

marty (A Stroll Thru Life) said...

Oh I read both parts and this just brought tears to my eyes. You do have such an amazing way of describing things. Love you, and really want to read a book from you. Hugs, Marty

Kelly @ JAX does design said...

Oh Kat, you've packed so much power and emotion into just two hundred words (I read part 1 and then part 2). Such a touching story - even more so because it's a memorial to your friend.

Fantastic writing!


The Muse said...

I want a book from you.

Honestly .... I do.


cj Schlottman said...

Oh, Kat. This is so sad and so very well written. You have a way of making your work so visual.


PS May not participate this week. Need to catch up on my personal writing.

Anna said...

Dear Kat,
Very clever use of the same prompt twice for essential the same story (the continuation of the first story) by using the prompt in two different ways.

Maybe you can use this germ of an idea to write a longer short story. I get the impression that you really did loose a good friend in a storm. (And I am very sorry for your loss in that case.) But it is hard for the reader to decipher what is fact and what is fiction. (And actually, it doesn't matter as long as the story itself works.)

I was faced with a similar dilemma. How should I use real experiences to write fiction? The 'jerk' in my SC-text is unfortuately very real. But not the idea that a man would say something like that on a wedding anniversary. That part, thank goodness, is fiction. But he did say it... on a regular non-anniversary-day.

Best wishes,
For the benefit of other readers:
Anna's SC week 27

Ames said...

This is sad. Not your writing! Just the story. SO sad. But still a great use of the prompt! Bravo!!~Ames

Kelly @ JAX does design said...

Definitely try the pumpkin pretzels - they're REALLY good! :-)


•••Mumsy••• said...

This is a sad story, but the description of the storm is so vivid..Beautifully written, Kat. Hope all is well with you!

Lynn said...

You always do such a good job with this challenge! I love the way you said the bike cartwheeled by. Perfectly descriptive.

My Vintage Blankie said...

You right beautifully! I'm off to read Part I. ~amy

Jenny said...

This story 'felt' so true and real.

You have a way of pulling things from your imagination and making them into something truly believable.

What a gift you have Miss Kat!

You are really a wonder.